A few weeks ago, we traveled to my parents’ house for a quick visit. The kids played, and my mom and I tackled part of a long-overdue project – cleaning out some of my stuff from their house.
I lived with my parents well into my 20s, so this was a daunting task. We spent the better part of two days bringing boxes down from the attic, looking through them, and sorting stuff into the traditional “keep, donate, trash” piles that accompany any larger scale decluttering project.
I’ll save the details of this trip down memory lane for another day. But as a teaser, I’ll leave you a photo of this box, which was the most, uh, proudly labeled of all the ones we went through.
(You’ll never guess what was in it! It was basically a box of completed elementary school workbook pages. Turns out decluttering is a learned skill, and I hadn’t yet learned it.)
Detangling Self-Worth and Productivity
A lot of what I went through were old school papers. I’m not sure if I liked seeing the grades on them, or if I thought I might need to refer back to them later. Whatever the reason, there was no shortage of paper heading to the recycling center.
For a long time, I found my value as a person in my productivity and performance. In many ways, I still do.
As a child, I was praised for good grades. I can’t really fault my parents. They wanted me to have as many opportunities as possible.
In high school and college, I made sure to take as many classes as I could while also participating in as many activities as I could. Through most of it, I thrived. I thought I would be praised for keeping all the plates spinning.
As an adult, I realized I associated my intrinsic value as a person with a grade on a paper. Who I was was what I did – and how well I did it.
Maybe you grew up with the same mindset. Many of us in the Millennial generation were sold the idea that college was our ticket to a comfortable adulthood. So we did everything we could to get into a “good school.” But somewhere along the way, we let the world tell us what we were worth.
Like decluttering is a learned skill, we must also relearn that our self-worth is not tied to our productivity.
When the Holidays Become Overwhelming
I think a lot of us feel this way. We think if we just keep going, eventually it will get easier, things will slow down, and all our hard work will be recognized and appreciated. Or, maybe, we’ve been spinning the plates for so long we don’t even realize we’re doing it. We’ve forgotten how to rest.
With collected Halloween candy in a bowl on the dining room table, we are squarely in the fall season. Before we know it, it’s a downhill slide into the holidays and the new year.
The holidays are a wild time. Routines are upended. In their place stand excitement, anticipation, and expectation. Those aren’t bad things, but they can lead us to some bad habits.
Our to-do list at this time of year fills up quickly. Between attending class parties and work events, buying gifts for secret Santas and family and friends, baking treats, choosing a tree, decorating the house, and creating holiday magic for the kids, it feels like every second is accounted for.
The weight of it all can be crushing.
We all have such high expectations of ourselves, especially at this time of year. Often, reality falls short of those expectations.
Your Value is Not Found In Your To-Do List
So, here’s your reminder: your productivity or your holiday to-do list does not determine your value as a person.
Your value is not tied to how many people come to your home for Thanksgiving. Your worth is not related to how many presents you have under the tree. It’s not about how many events you attend or if your house looks like it came from a magazine spread.
Your to-do list does not dictate the significance of your personhood.
It’s hard to reverse years of thinking. For a long time, my value came from what I did for other people or how much stuff I got done in a day. Productivity and self-worth went hand in hand.
And during the holidays, the pressure is even greater. We feel like we need to do all the things and be everything to everyone.
But what if just being —simply existing —is enough to make us valuable?
Simply By Existing, You Are Enough
Many of us know the Bible story of creation. God spends six days creating the earth, separating light from dark, bringing dry land from the ocean, and filling the land, sea, and sky with plants and animals. On day 6, God creates man and woman.
No, I don’t think the world was literally created in six 24-hour days. But I do think a Creator intelligently designs us. And that Creator, who brought forth fish for the sea and plants from the ground, also felt the world needed some humans.
To God, simply by existing, we are worthy.
After all, why expend the energy it takes to create something that has no value? (Although stinkbugs and gnats feel like they could probably fit that bill.)
So when your holiday to-do list is feeling heavy, don’t be afraid to set it down. If the pressure of the season is starting to suck out the joy, let the expectations go. Remember that God thought the world needed humans, specifically one of me and one of you.
Just by being, you are enough.
Will You Join Us for an Advent Devotional This Year?
If you’re looking for a bit of rest for your soul this holiday season, I hope you’ll join me for a free Advent devotional study. We’ll start on November 30. By signing up, you’ll receive one email from me a day with some readings, a short piece of writing, and a prayer or prompt. I hope you’ll consider joining us this holiday season, as we prepare ourselves to receive the greatest gift: Jesus.
