My husband and I have been married for 10 years. And the vast majority of that time, we’ve lived overseas. My first official duty station as a military spouse was Japan. When we were offered the chance to stay overseas, we took it—and moved to Italy.
In all the years we were overseas, we only came home twice (and both times I was pregnant). We didn’t really miss our life in the States. Flying home took a long time and was expensive. And we wanted to make the most of the time we had, knowing we’d probably be back Stateside at some point.
The military has been wonderful in allowing us to see the world. But with young kids and aging parents, we decided it was time to return home. Although we’ve been back stateside for more than a year, there are still some things about the transition that surprise me.
Maybe you’re transitioning back to the US, and you’re feeling hesitant. Don’t worry, I was too. I loved our international life and the opportunities we had overseas. But the more I thought about it, the more I found things to like about the US. Maybe you’ve missed some of these things, too.
There are so many outlets in every room.
In Italy, there might have been one or two places to plug things in in each room. And electricity was entirely different. Although our house wasn’t too bad, many of our friends couldn’t run more than one major appliance at a time. If the dishwasher and dryer were going at the same time, the breaker would trip, and the house would lose power. I’m not sad to have more outlets or to be able to multitask my chores.
Stores stay open through lunch.
In both Italy and Japan, it was not uncommon for stores to be closed during lunch. Although in Japan it was mostly restaurants, in Italy, it was also some retail stores. From noon until 3 or 4, you might pull into a parking lot to find the doors locked.
The roads here are so wide.
I remember one road we accidentally went down in Japan that was barely wide enough for our car. Italy was better, but sharing the smaller roads with tractors or large trucks was something I never quite got used to.
Drive thrus.
It’s probably a good thing I had both kids overseas and away from fast food. While both countries had a few drive thru options (Japan more so than Italy), they still weren’t common. I missed the convenience of being able to get something quickly and without having to get out of my car. Although I don’t go through drive thrus often, it’s comforting to know I can.
Eavesdropping.
My husband will tell you, I’m kind of a nosy person. Mostly, I just like to see how other people see the world. But living overseas, I couldn’t subtly listen in to the people at the next table. Conversations melted into general background noise, and I missed being able to hone in and see what other people were saying.
Shopping in the women’s section.
I am pretty average in terms of my size. But in both Italy and Japan, I was large. In both countries, I usually found better-fitting items like shirts and belts in the men’s section. I even have some pants from Japan I got at Uniqlo in the men’s section. And buying women’s shoes was almost impossible. Japan didn’t stock my size at all, and Italy was few and far between.
The ease of returning things.
I can bring a QR code to the post office, have them print a label, and return something to Amazon so easily. No customs forms or the need to print my own label (which often required a trip to the library and 10 cents). I can trust that a store will take back an item that doesn’t work for us and refund me the money. Overseas, return policies aren’t the same, and stores often don’t have to accept returns. And if they do, sometimes the most you’ll get is in-store credit.
Bookstores and books in English.
Going to bookstores in Japan and heading to the “international” or “foreign language” section was always a little surreal.
But sometimes I miss…
I really miss the individual AC units in our overseas houses. The AC in both houses was ductless. It was so nice to only turn the unit on in one room when we needed it. Here, the central AC doesn’t work well in the bedrooms, particularly the kids’ rooms. Often, they are 8 or more degrees warmer than the kitchen, where the thermostat is. I wish we could control the temperature in their room individually.
And I miss grocery shopping overseas. I had gotten used to smaller, shorter aisles and healthier options. We would regularly buy pastas or bread made with kamut or other “alternative” grains. It tasted better, was a healthier choice, and wasn’t any more expensive than anything else. Overseas, the aisles are shorter, usually offering only a few options for something (or sometimes just one). Our first grocery trip in the States took 90 minutes, and I remember texting my mom in the granola aisle, completely overwhelmed with all the choices. Sometimes, less is more.
Mostly, it’s nice to be back in the States. I miss our homes overseas and the opportunities living internationally afforded our kids and us. Every duty station, every country, will have good and bad.
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