It can be easy to get caught up in the logistics of a move. Often, many things have to happen in a short time. And having things to do keeps your mind busy. It’s easy to put your anxieties about a move to the side when you have a to-do list a mile long and very little time to do it in.
But eventually, the group chat of friends you just left goes quiet. Kids look to you for entertainment, expecting you to fill the time previously occupied by play dates, friends, and plans. Once the dust settles – after in-processing, your household goods delivery, and everyone returns to work – it’s important to remember that good things take time.
Whether you can’t get away from a duty assignment fast enough or wish you could stay forever, PCS season brings up a range of emotions for everyone. And saying goodbye never gets any easier.
The Best Duty Station is The One You Just Left
With the rush of activity, it’s not hard to push aside our emotions about a move, good or bad. But those emotions often come back to visit at the worst possible time. Because, of course, they do.
Packing boxes and saying goodbye to places we love takes time. It takes time to physically move to a new place and then for our emotions to catch up with our bodies.
No matter how gracefully you try to close your current chapter and move on to the next, there will always be things you miss. The old adage is true – the best duty station was the one you just left. (Unless you’ve lived in Japan. That is still my #1 and I would go back in a heartbeat.)
Once again, you’ll have to find your go to coffee shop. GPS will be your best friend as you learn new streets and shortcuts. Making friends is never easy. You probably won’t meet your new best friend on your first weekend at a new base. But keep showing up.
Good things are coming at this duty station, too. They will even show up during the move itself. But you have to have your eyes open to see them. Instead of focusing on what you’re losing, look ahead to what you are gaining.
Saying Goodbye While Looking Forward
So often we want to rush through, to just be settled and feel at home again. But maybe there’s something to be discovered in this messy middle, when everything is upended, and we are tired and worn thin. There is still joy, if we’re willing to look for it. There is still rest if we’re willing to take it.
God is still showing up even when it doesn’t feel like it. The universe is still orchestrating things for us in our favor. We still have time to enjoy the place we are, a place we’ve grown to love. And we have time to dream about all the good things to come at a new home we don’t yet know.
It’s easy to romanticize the place you are and fear or dread the place you’re going. And it’s easy to forget the time and the work it took to get you to feel comfortable where you are. You didn’t always know how to get to the grocery store without Google Maps. You didn’t always know how to navigate the train system or how to order food in Italian at a restaurant.
I like to block out the time I nearly cried when we went out to dinner for the first time in Japan because I couldn’t read the menu, decipher the photos, or choose what to eat. And let’s not forget how scared I was to drive in both Japan and Italy. For the first month (at least), I would only leave the house when my husband could drive me.
But I did learn what to order at a restaurant. And I eventually gathered the courage to drive myself places. And, when the time came, I was sad to leave the homes we had made in these countries. Each duty station has something to teach us about ourselves and how we are in the world.
Good Things Take Time
But like the move itself, good things take time. Feeling comfortable in a new place takes time. I can’t force things into my life faster than they’re able to arrive. It can be a challenge, but like so many other things, you can learn to keep your eyes open for the good stuff. Even in the hard, there is always good to be found. We’re just not always quick to look for it.
When PCS time comes around, everything feels harder. Not just because of the obvious packing and moving, but because I feel like I’m living in two places at once. I’m wherever my body is, wherever we’re living at the time. But I’m also trying to imagine where we’re going.
No matter how you feel about it now, you probably didn’t always feel this way about your current duty assignment. Maybe you looked forward to it with hopeful expectation, only to have it fall woefully short. Now, you can’t wait to leave.
Or, maybe you had heard nothing but bad things. You dreaded the move. But something about this place made you feel at home, and you became a little more yourself while you lived here. Now saying goodbye is harder than you thought it would be.
It took time to find how you fit into your current duty station. And it will take time to find how you fit into your new one. But you’ll find your place there. You always do. Remember to give yourself time and grace. You don’t need to have all the answers today. Your people will find you, and you will find them.
Good things are coming for you, friend. In the waiting, it’s easy to forget that good things take time.
Looking for More PCS Resources?
After two overseas moves, I got pretty good at managing multiple shipments and packing airplane baggage. Even if you’re not moving overseas, these ebooks can give you ideas on how to organize your things. My packing lists can help you get started, and everything is customizable to your specific move. Just click on the banners below to get your free download!
Not interested in a book? No worries! You can find all my PCS-related content here – It’s Time To Move (Again)
