Few things are as mundane, as automatic, as making a cup of coffee. If you’re like me, you figured out what you like years ago. Now, it’s just a matter of mixing in a little sugar and cream and calling it a day.
Routines can be comforting. In the mundane things that we do every day, we know what to expect. Sometimes, it can be a brief moment to turn your brain off. But what if those checking out moments, however small, are moments we should be paying attention to?
Science even has a name for this “checking out” during routine tasks: procedural memory. We often see it when we drive a familiar route, suddenly arriving at our destination with no memory of the drive. Other examples include brushing your teeth, tying your shoes, or typing on a keyboard.
Recently I’ve seen it in my afternoon coffee routine. Occasionally, what’s leftover in the pot from the morning isn’t enough for the afternoon. I need to brew a little more, so I do. I don’t think much about it.
Checking Out in the Mundane Moments
It’s not until I hear the coffee pot gurgle and sputter from the living room that I have a mini freak out. My heart rate briefly spikes as I wonder if I actually changed the filter and added new coffee. Or did I forget? In the morning, I throw my empty stevia packet into the used grounds. Will I also end up with a green, papery tinge to my coffee?
Of course, I have never actually made that mistake. But the act of making coffee is so automatic, there are pieces of the process that escape my awareness.
Procedural memory isn’t bad. It’s how we know how to do things, like get dressed or walk down the street.
But recently, as I was refilling the carafe and coffee grounds, I wondered if these automatic tasks are allowing us to check out when we should be checking in.
How often do we drive to work, daydreaming or problem solving instead of paying attention to the world unfolding around us? Instead of watching what I’m doing, being in my body, I’m scrolling on my phone while making coffee. I’m looking down instead of taking in the smell of the grounds or the sound of the water in the pot.
Ok, I’ll be honest, this is maybe a bit of an overexaggeration. Or oversimplification. I’m sure there are psychological benefits to “checking out” occasionally. Our brain needs time to process and think through problems. It can’t be “on” all the time.
But hopefully you understand what I’m getting at.
Using Routine Moments to Pay Attention
It’s easy to be thinking about something else while pouring my coffee. Where are we going today? How will I keep these kids occupied in the hours before nap? Or in the afternoon, what’s for dinner? Using the microwave to warm up my cup means staring at my phone. Scrolling. Checking out.
I am here, but I am not in my body.
What if we brought our attention back to where our feet are? Instead of letting our minds wander to the future or the past, what if we focus on what is right there in front of us?
The smell of a freshly brewed pot of coffee. The smooth, cool handle of my mug as I get it out of the cupboard. The clink of silverware as I open the drawer, only to have it catch partway and jerk to a halt.
The sound of the stevia packet ripping open. The weight of the fridge door as I open it to get out my creamer. The distinct sound of my spoon against the sides of the mug. Almost always, I stir my coffee 5 times. I don’t know why; it just feels right.
In my body, as the microwave heats up my afternoon cup, I notice the crumbs on the counter and brush them into my hand. Maybe I look out the window and notice a new bird, his black-and-white stripes catching my eye. I hear the gentle groan as one of the kids rolls around in their bed.
If I’m in my body, I’m paying attention to how I move through the world. Even the tiny world of my kitchen.
Practicing Being in My Body
It’s a skill to be present to our actual life. One that I feel like social media is stealing from us more and more. And like all skills, it requires practice, patience, and a lot of redirection.
Let’s be honest, it’s easier to be somewhere else. To relive that conversation from last week or last year, imagining what we could have said. Or anticipate the event coming up over the weekend. To watch someone online and wish we could have their kitchen.
I’ve been really paying attention to my habits lately. I watch what choices I make – what I pick up when I’m bored or overstimulated, how I act when my kids push all my buttons. Watching my choices led me to delete the Instagram app from my phone earlier this month.
Making a coffee is one of the more routine, mundane moments of my day. It doesn’t take a lot of effort or conscious thought. So it feels natural to use it as a starting point. Of noticing, being in my body and fully present to my life.
Because the last thing I want is to come to the end of my life and wish I had done things differently.
Practice being present today. Notice how you move through the world. Engage your senses as often as you can. Be in your body.
